Jhonen Vasquez & Invader Zim Quotes

"On a crowded street, I could drain a flower vendor of all his blood, and not get caught!! People would scream and vomit, and yet, somehow, I would walk away unscathed. I could do that!! ...Oh, wait....I did do that!!" -Johnny, in JtHM #3

"AAAAAAAGH!! FFFuck!!!!! Fuck, shit, and other such expletives!" -Johnny, in JtHM #4

"I've done horrifying things with salad tongs. It's really eaten into my social life." -Johnny, in JtHM #6

"Are you going to chop me up and put me in the garbage now? Because Shmee tells me you're a bad guy. He says this is a bad place to be. Please don't chop me up." -Squee, in JtHM #7

"This place is scary! Everyone has bags! What's in all those bags?!!" -Squee, in JtHM #3

"My name? I am known by many names. Son of the Dark Prince, Child of Darkness. Some call me the Altar Boy of Doom. Others will know me as the second coming of damnation....My mom calls me Pepito." -Pepito, in Squee!

"No, Daddy! No!! He's weird, and scary! And I don't like him!! And he's the son of Satan!!" -Squee, in Squee!

"'I'm trying to eat here, could you please stop pooping?'" -Devi, in I Feel Sick

"I am as unpredictable as the nervous park squirrel!" -Tenna, in I Feel Sick

"Babies: they're chewable!" -sign in I Feel Sick

"Eat shit! It's new!" -another sign

"I give you satanic head bitey!" -Satan #2, in a Meanwhile

Invader Zim quotes:

"Hello, friends. I am a perfectly normal human worm baby. You have nothing, absolutely nothing to fear from me. Just pay no attention to me and we'll get along just fine." -Zim

"I love you, cold, unfeeling robot arm!" -Zim, as a baby

"I'm only thirteen levels away from finishing this game. So I either finish my game or make you wish I was never born." -Gaz

"When you die, can I play?" -Gaz, watching Dib fight for his life

"Human law enforcement vehicle. Markings: lighting flashy thingies on top. Defensive capabilities: minimal. Explodes on impact with giant weenies. Evaluation: pathetic! Pathetic Earth vehicle! Mwahahahahahaha!" -Zim

"On Monday, we settle this like children!" -Zim making his challenge

Dib: Ms. Bitters? I think a pencil is lodged in my brain. Can I go to the nurse?
Ms. Bitters: How far in your brain?
Dib: (looking down) Pretty far.

Zim: Now, Dib, I leave you to your ... (thinks)
GIR: (offscreen) Moosey fate! (louder) Moosey fate!
Zim: (pure evil) Your moosey fate.

"Watch it carefully, GIR. (pause) Pretend it's a taco!" -Zim, a little exasperated

"The Earth is saved! I did it, GIR! Now let's go destroy it." -Zim

"But he's so bad at it." -Gaz, assessing Zim's plans for world conquest

"Oh my God! Look! It's an alien! (Zim quickly puts on his wig and contacts) Oh. False alarm." -some guy

Zim: And then watch you transform, more and more, into what you really are deep down in your heart!
Dib: Deep down I'm bologna?
Zim: Yes.
Dib: That's just ... dumb.
Zim: Dumb like a moose, Dib! Dumb like a moose!

Horrible rat person: I was once a man.
Dib: But you're a woman.

"I'm gonna sing the doom song now! Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom......" -GIR

Zim: What are you doing GIR?
GIR: Nothing.....
Zim: Nothing or...something?

"It's really hard to want to chase someone who smells that bad." -Dib, on Chickenfoot

Dib: Horrible nightmare visions!
Ms. Bitters: It's called life, Dib. Sit down.

"For longer than I can remember, I've been looking for someone like you...Someone with a head like yours and a torso too. Birds sing and you're gonna pay, the end!" -Tak's poem to Zim

Tak: The great thing about your people is that most of them don't notice. All they see is another faceless corporate venture, not a plan for world conquest.
Dib: Wait, is there really a difference?

Gaz: Are there any video games around here?
Computer: No.
Gaz: I guess I'll help save the Earth then.

"Good luck destroying Santa!...And Merry Christmas." -Professor Membrane

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